Rain Check

So, it's been a minute since I've posted, but I was waiting for something to discuss. And, here it is, on this rainy day- two things happened that inspired me to post. Asst 2 and myself have been talking a lot lately about the "state of the union of women." I think, mostly, Asst 2 is practicing for her master's thesis in women's studies- but I'm happy to oblige. We are women, with many differing and similar thoughts- so why not?

1) I got a call from my sister, who was in the waiting room at our small town Doctor's office back home. This Doctor is a family friend - someone who's daughters I taught swim lessons to and who's other daughters went to school with said little sister. She was waiting because she needed to have an STD test. She needed to have an STD test because her ex-bf of almost 2 years, quite possibly cheated on her and they had unprotected sex a few times. My sister was terrified a) because my father took her to the doctor and b) because she was scared of the test results.

Boy, there is nothing like a long-held belief hitting home. I've believed for a long time that abstinence education is a farce (anyone else get the chastity cards in high school? you know, the ones with the penny? i did. i lost the penny, and my virginity shortly thereafter). I wondered if my sister would have been sitting in that waiting room if she had been properly educated on STD awareness (symptoms, things to watch for) and not just the "YOU'LL DIE IF YOU GET GONAHERPASYPHILIS, SO JUST DONT HAVE SEX" message. It's incredibly frustrating - especially after the recent presidential campaign- that we're still stuck in a mind-set that if we tell teens about STDs, HIV/AIDS, pregnancy and protection we will make them more promiscuous. Would she still have been in that waiting room if she had been educated in an environment where discussing sex (especially with ones you're sexually active with) is not taboo, but is open, honest and informative.

Lastly, I have never been a fan of 'education campaigns' and I'm always distraught by the number of social problems that are laid at the feet of our public education system. However, if there is going to be a push (federally funded at that!) to teach abstinence as contraception in schools, our teachers, parents and community leaders MUST step up and DEMAND sex-ed that is modern, descriptive and useful. America's teens are not stupid and they are not magically shielded from the same issues we must deal with as adults (relationships, sex, one-night stands, STD tests, embarassment, date rape, cheating) and we have to start addressing these issues with them. The time is over to handle them with kitten gloves when lives are on the line. I think about how many young peoples' lives in DC could have been saved with a comprehensive sex-ed course about HIV, protection and resources. Listen, when I was in high school, my gym teacher wasn't the first person I thought of to talk to about sex, but I'll be damned if my mother didn't tell me where the closest planned parenthood was in case I needed it. I had resources and I knew where the resources were if the ones I had weren't sufficient. I was lucky.

2) Today it is rainy, dreary rainy. Rainboot and umbrella requiring rain. So, I hopped on the express bus to work today, which meant I had to get off a few blocks further away from my office since the express doesnt stop at my office corner. Typically, I miss the express bus and take another local bus that drives past the downtown Planned Parenthood branch. So, I often just see it in passing. Today, I got off the bus about 400 feet from the PP office. **Bias Alert-I've always had a grand affinity for PP, as they were my first morning after pill experience and always had the cheaper birth control pills in college (true story). So today, as I got closer to the office I noticed two people standing on the sidewalk outside the office. I also saw two semi-nervous looking "Volunteer Clinic Escorts" in orange vests standing at the door. As I approached the man and woman on the sidewalk I noticed the woman had her eyes closed, a rosary in her hand and was praying. The man, was standing across from her with a pack of brochures.

As I approached, I couldn't help but I wish I were braver and confront them about what they were doing. Ask them if they realized that 3 percent of black women in D.C. have HIV and this clinic provided an afforable resource for some of those women. I yearned to stop and ask them about the women who walked through those doors, needing a safe place to go to consider their family planning. I thought about my sister and if they would have tried to stop her from going in to recieve an STD test, and what would have happened if they were successful at stopping her- or any other girl for that matter. I thought about the millions of victims of date rape who need the morning after pill. I think of the young girl who is in college, broke, made a mistake and needs to have an abortion because she could never have a child only to submit it to the horrible state system for adoption and foster care. I think of myself and my friends, highly educated, career-women with stable lives and incomes, who have ALL had our scares and needed that emergency pill or appt. I thought of the HIV/AIDS rates in DC that rival some West African countries and yet our local providers of contraceptives were being protested!!! Then, as I rounded the corner I wanted to run back and say- "Do you two have counterparts that are doing the same thing in the condom aisle at the Safeway around the corner?"

And then- amongst all these thoughts, the rage and anger I felt towards these two-- I smiled. I realized, that with all the flaws, all the protests and all the cuts in funding, the Planned Parenthood stood. It persisted. The volunteer clinic escorts stood in the dry doorway, while the protesters stood in the rain. Once inside, women were lucky enough to find a safe haven from the (proverbial and literal today) storm. I realized that as a woman in this city I would ALWAYS have a place to go should I need it. Then of course, I began to think of the women who don't have that place. Or have to drive hours and hours to find a clinic. But after that brief pause in happiness, I reminded myself- this is why you're going to Africa.